Howling
by VanillaWhisper
Summary: Sometimes you just have to look underneath the underneath.. [ Implied SiriusxRemus ]


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of it's characters.

Author's Note: I don't know if this has been done before. If it has, someone please tell me, and I will delete this. This idea came to me when I was trying to sleep..O.o Forgive me if I get anything wrong in this fanfic. I seriously need to go back and reread all the Harry Potter books, but, alas, I have no time. And I'm just lazy. -.- I, also, apologize in advance for the OOCness and strange facts about werewolves and vampires that I came up with in this.

Warning: This is _male/male. _Sirius/Remus, to be exact. And perhaps some James/Sirius, if you're looking for it. If you don't like this, don't read! Thanks.

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Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter were _always_ together. Even through the darkest of times. The were friends to the end— or so they liked to think. However, even a group of friends have their _best_ friends, their favorite friends, the one they like to spend the most time with out of all the people in the group. And most everyone who knew the group, would think that Sirius and James preferred each other to anyone else.

After all, the two were always creating havoc together. Sirius and James were just so much alike, it was completely impossible to not think they were best friends.

And, of course, in a group of friends, there's always those two who like each other a little more than they should. A little more than they'd like to admit, too. The prodigy Lupin, was perhaps the only one out of the four companions who knew this.

He tried to ignore the nagging feeling that was consistently telling him that Sirius and James were those two who liked each other a little more than they should.

Of course, everytime James flirted and asked Lily out— that feeling would vanish, and he would feel a little relieved.

_'You're just being paranoid,' _Remus had always told himself. _'Sirius and James aren't.._gay._ You, however, are.'_

Lupin sighed. Why, oh why, did he have to have just a tinsy crush on Sirius, of all people? Why couldn't he have liked some foolish, empty-headed girl who would never like him back? That would make things much easier.

But nooo, fate just had to be cruel to him and make him homosexual. Or, bisexual, perhaps? After all, he had been attracted to some older woman during his first year.. Hmm..

The fact is that most werewolves don't give a damn about gender. They, like vampires, just cared about mating or finding a companion for life. However, unlike vampires, they weren't quite as..lustful. No, they longed more for just mere loving friendship, a _pack._ And that's what his group of friends were, his pack.

Remus had never noticed this odd feelings for Sirius Black until they had all decided to become Animagi. Maybe it was for that reason that those feelings even emerged. Sirius was the dog, after all. And dogs and wolves, though they are different in so many ways, or alike in so many ways, too. To be able to see these differences and similarities, though, you just had to look underneath the underneath. For some reason, Remus Lupin had always been an expert at that.

Lupin always had wondered why Sirius had chosen the dog, of all animals, to turn into. He had always argued with himself, constantly saying that Sirius probably had some kind of connections with dogs, to want to turn into one. Perhaps he reminded himself of one. Or maybe he just liked dogs for no particular reason. The werewolf had gone as far as to think perhaps it was the man's Chinese Zodiac sign, and _that's_ why he had chosen it.

_'Yes, of course, that _must've_ been it,' _Remus told himself. After all, Sirius would've never, in a million years, decided to change into the dog to get closer to Lupin, to be able to understand Lupin a little more. That, of all things, was just..unthinkable. Well, perhaps unthinkable was the wrong word, but it just didn't seem likely. Not to Remus, anyway.

Then again, it did seem as if Sirius had tried harder than anyone else to understand him. Remus could never understand why, because he was probably one of the most complicated people to understand, even though he did seem like he was one of the simplest.

**Flashback:**

"Hey, Moony, you ever howl at the moon like wolves and dogs do sometimes?" Sirius had asked one day, out of the blue.

Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Well, I suppose sometimes. Why do you ask?"

"Just wonderin', it just seems kinda weird to me. Why do they do that, anyways?"

Remus sighed. "Don't you ever pay attention, in any of our classes?"

Sirius grinned. "Of course not. What would be the fun in that?"

Inwardly, Remus smiled. "Well, I suppose it's better to hear it from an actual werewolf than just a teacher, anyway. Hearing it from the actual being who actually does it, well, it just helps you to understand it more, I imagine. It makes more sense."

Sirius nodded good-naturedly. "Uh-huh. Don't go all psychological on me, Moony."

The other man chuckled lightly. "I wasn't. Anyways, to answer your question, I think it's because werewolves are generally lonely.. and the moon just provides a comfort, of some sort. Most people are terrified of werewolves, when in truth, they just seek companionship more than anything else. The moon to them..is like the light at the end of the dark tunnel, even if it's only a light that stays on briefly."

A silence fell between them. Then, Sirius spoke. "If that wasn't psychological, I don't know what is."

Lupin laughed. "Ah, guess you're right."

"Why do you howl at the moon, though? You got friends. Lots of 'em, compared to some people. You still lonely?"

Honestly, Remus had no idea how to answer that question. Yes, he was still lonely.. Why? He didn't know.

"I..don't know," he admitted, after much hesitation. "Maybe..I just haven't found my true companion yet. One that will stand beside me forever.. The one that truly understands me, if you know what I mean."

Black nodded. "Maybe you have and you just don't realize it yet."

That struck something in the other male. _'Perhaps I have and don't realize it yet.. Perhaps,'_ he thought. _'Perhaps.'_

More silence. Once more, it was Black that broke it. "Dogs howl at the moon, too, you know."

**End Flashback**

Shortly after that conversation, Remus finally realized that he needed to stop trying to find excuses as to why Black _had_ chosen to change it to the dog rather than any other animal. Sometimes you just have to leave the truth alone, even if, technically, you're not sure what the truth is.

Shortly after that conversation, Remus finally realized that Sirius was that one of his pack— that one that he had so obliviously become attached to the most without realizing it. Yet, he never got around to telling Black that.

And that lonesome night after Sirius' death, the werewolf had howled at the moon for the longest time.

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Author's Note: I don't remember if in the books it told why Sirius was the dog, and if it did.. Well, just consider this AU. I have a feeling that it might have..but, like I said, just consider it AU. 


End file.
